thearena | house of panties

Entry tags:

house of panties

Who| Bro Strider and YOU
What| Bro camps out in the lingerie store and does weird things
Where| The lingerie store
When| Throughout week 2
Warnings/Notes| TBA

Ever since the start of the arena, it didn't take long for Bro to find his home. If no one expected him to go straight for the lingerie store, then they were wrong because when he finds it, he can't think of a better base of operations. Of course he leaves every now and then to get food, but otherwise he's content to stay right the fuck here.

By the end of the first week, he's truly turned it into a place to live. The mannequins have been put to good use. He's given them makeshift slingshots that he's made, using pairs of panties as the pocket. The mannequins are in attack mode, positioned around the entrance of the store to look threatening. Of course they're wearing the sexiest of lingerie and he's drawn faces on them to add to the sexy intimidation factor.

It's hard to get much more strange than that, but inside he's pulled much of the lingerie off of the shelves and made a pile of panties and bras on the floor, which he uses as a bed at night. He's woven together all sorts of panties and thongs together into a blanket which he uses to cover up at night when things get cold and he has a couple of the other mannequins in sexy poses near his bed pile, just for added effect.

In a corner nearby is his little pile of swag, which is various shit he's scavenged from around the mall. Things he can use as weapons, things he can use to alleviate boredom, that sort of thing. It's obvious he's made this place his home and that he intends on staying there through the long haul. He's made a slingshot of his own just like the mannequins carry, in case anyone unsavory happens to wander in and he has to fight them off. Mostly he just wants to hit people with a panty slingshot.

You can catch him here pretty much any day of the week. You might find him lying in the underwear pile, or re-drawing the face on one of the mannequins. If you're unlucky, he might be bored enough to use the slingshot on you as you enter the store. Can you really resist checking this place out though, considering the things guarding the door?

[Closed to Eridan and backdated to week 1]

Eridan, unfortunately, is going to be one of the people Bro decides to shoot with a slingshot. It's getting fairly late and he's had a long day of setting the place up and weaving panty blankets. He's not in the mood to get interrupted, so he's going to fire off a shot at him, using marbles as ammo.

"Unless you're here to shove dollars in places, I'd suggest you get the hell out," he calls after the attempt at beaming Eridan in the head with the marble. "Considering you think the idea is stupid, I'd say you're gonna have to leave."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Though Sollux and Feferi have pledged to stick together, the two had reached a level of comfort that, now and then, they would take their separate ways for one reason or another. Meeting people, supplies gathering, things along that line. How this has turned into Sollux gaping at a lingerie store is squarely the fault of whoever set up the mannequins this way.

"What the fuck?"

He was going to maybe swap clothes again - for all regular bathing isn't really possible here, he can at least keep his garments fresh - but definitely not at this store. Now he finds himself staring with crinkled brow at the abominations "guarding" the entrance. Are those panties they're holding? No, of course they are, but why are they holding them like that? Who took the time to draw those faces on them? Why? They're freaky if just for how weirdly drawn they are, but the strangeness overrides any instinct to make him leave.

Tentative, ready to flee if he has to, Sollux reaches out and pokes one of their fake arms.

And just as he planned, Bro's little mannequin set-up lures someone in. He knows good and well that no one can resist taking a look in here with them standing guard. He lives for screwing with people, so if he can get a reaction out of someone then he's doing his job well, and Sollux falls for it hook, line and sinker. He'll watch him for a few moments, out of sight away from the mannequins, just to see what Sollux will do.

It's when the troll reaches out to touch it that Bro does anything. "INTRUDER ALERT. WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO." You've triggered his alarm, Sollux.

Which consists of him making the high-pitched siren noises himself. Then, he'll pull back his pantie slingshot and send a marble at Sollux's head, because he has to defend his domain from trolls who want to get handsy with his mannequin babes.

Sollux jumps about a foot in the air at the sudden 'alarm', fake-ass douchebag version though it is. Suffice it to say he did not expect that, and he goes to back off even as his head turns back and forth in search of the one who said that. The marble pliks against the side of his head about as soon as he spots him; his hand shoots up to clutch the spot. No blood. No deep pain. He doesn't even see what hit him, and he doesn't waste time scanning the floor.

"What the fuck?" His posture scrunches in defensive as he moves away - backs away, specifically, because he's not going to expose that to this asshole. One who, now that he looks properly, is actually pretty familiar.

He ends up crouched on the floor, palms up open in front of his head when he asks, "Are... are you Dave'th luthuth?"

There's just no describing how absolutely satisfying it is to hear the plik of the marble against that hard troll head. Out of any possible reaction, this is probably one of the better ones he could have gotten. It's just so beautiful, it almost brings a tear to his eyes. But only one, because he's ironic like that and both eyes can't possibly cry simultaneously. One must drip completely off of his chin in the most anime-like way possible before the other eye can begin leaking. Because he is the anime, it is him.

"The fuck is me, I'm the fuck." You would think someone who just shot someone with a slingshot would try to appear menacing afterwards, but there Bro is with his pantie slingshot standing with his arms folded in the most casual way possible. "You touched my babies, you shouldn't do that."

Then he raises an eyebrow. "His what-uth?"

What is this guy's deal? He seemed weird to begin with, but a lot of it Sollux just chalked up to cultural differences in how children are raised. This, though, is another issue. This is a man with a pair of panties in his hand, which in combination with the mannequins click into realization in Sollux's mind. He shot him with those. Ew.

But the man speaks, and he drags his attention back to his face. "What the heck ith a baby?"

He considers getting up. He does have weapons with him - a gun tucked into his waistband, a bucket with skates and the spare box of bullets he got with it - but then, aggression isn't the attitude he wants to put off. His hands lower a smidge, but only just.

"The guy who raithed him. Do you not have that word?"

Sometimes, it becomes painfully clear out different trolls and humans are. This is one of those times, just as it had been when talking to Eridan about troll currency and whatnot. But now here they are with obviously different words for things. He also has to question Sollux's priorities.

If he'd gotten beamed in the head with a marble, he's pretty sure he would be bitch slapping somebody instead of asking for cultural clarification. It's actually kind of endearing.

"Nope," he states in a very matter of fact tone. He lets out an exasperated sigh. "Why don't you pull up a pile of panties and have a seat, kid, we'll get this cultural exchange underway. I'll show you mine if you show me yours, if you will."

Come to think of it-

Nah. Nah, Sollux is too young.

What the fuck. Sollux's features wrinkle up with abject confusion as Strider-lusus's response. Show him what? He doesn't have any panties. He doesn't want to pull up a pile of them. What is wrong with him?

"What the fuck? No." He hesitates, then pushes himself up to stand. "What'th your obthethhion with female undergarmentth? I thought your deal wath colorful butt puppetth and thwordth everywhere."

Have you even looked at him, Bro? He's a 13-year-old nerd with a scrawny build. He couldn't bitchslap anyone. He could try, but the heavens themselves would crackle with laughter at the attempt.

Ah yes, confusion. That's a look he hasn't ever been given before- oh wait. It's the look he lives for, honestly. He's so amused right now that it isn't even funny. At Sollux's reply, he has to raise his eyebrows. How is it this kid knows his schtick? Ah well, whatever. He doesn't care too much, considering he's right on the mark.

"Can't a bro have more than one obsession?" he asks, folding his arms over his chest and giving Sollux a pointed look. "Anyway, by all means. Find me a pile of swords and I'll get intimately familiar with it. Until then, I'm gonna just have to settle for these soft delicates." He balls up a pair of panties and throws them at Sollux's head. "Seriously, come on. Tell me shit about trolls. I'm fuckin' curious, I ain't ever got one of you one on one. Well, except for the one more crotchety than you, anyway."

"Butt puppetth and thwordth are more than one thing. Learn to count," he fires back. But a pile of the latter? His expression remains, not even interrupted as he swats the panties away before they can hit him in the face. "What kind of idiot wantth to get hith athh thlithed up like that?"

Why is this asshole so curious, though? He's a weirdo, and downright confusing, and even stranger in person than he was over view port. He picks up his dropped bucket - he's not just going to leave his stuff there - and takes two steps (and two alone) toward Bro.

"Promithe you're not going to throw anything elthe at me. I'm not thitting on the thtupid pantieth either."

"Well if all I'm known for is butt puppets and swords, how do you know I'm not some kind of idiot who wants to get sliced up like that?" Gosh. "Besides, you just gotta be careful. I know my way around a sword pile, I know how to not get sliced and diced, kiddo."

Because Bro is curious about everything, obviously. But more specifically he's curious about aliens. Who wouldn't want to ask all kinds of questions when they get an alien alone for the first time in their life? Eridan still doesn't count in his opinion. So he's going to take full advantage of this opportunity.

He shrugs at statement. "Fingers crossed, I won't throw shit at you." That is a loophole he can absolutely abuse in the future. "And sit on the cold, hard floor for all I care."

Sollux just rolls his eyes. He's observed enough of Bro and Dave's strifing to know that yeah, this guy does know his way around a sword, though sitting on a pile of them still sounds stupid as fuck.

But that's neither here nor there. Now he eyes the man a good moment before finally edging closer. He doesn't sit on the panties, he meant that, but takes a spot on the floor a safe space away. He keeps largely facing him, but makes sure he has a good view of the entrance as well.

"Now what? If you want to learn thtuff, athk quethtionth."

With Sollux finally sitting down, Bro decides to drop some of his troll-y demeanor so that he can actually learn something out of this without pissing the troll off. He isn't gonna blow his chance by making him mad enough to leave, after all. He has plenty of burning questions.

"Calm down, I'm getting there." He scratches at his chin stubble for a moment, before settling on his first question. "Alright, so some of you have fins and some of you don't. What's the deal with that?"

If someone were to stop and ask, "Sollux, why are you doing this?" he wouldn't be able to answer. He got hit with a marble, had panties thrown at him, and now is talking to a full grown human who's sitting on a pile of the latter. Sometimes life just happens and you can't follow the path, and perhaps in self-defense his mind has decided just not to think about it.

He wouldn't be able to say what sort of question he expected, but what Bro asks is surprisingly simple. His chin lifts a little higher. "Eathy: thea dwellerth. They've got gillth too. They're the rulerth bathically. Our Emprethh wath a thea dweller, and Feferi - do you know Feferi? She wath the heirethh. Eridan'th a bulgethmear though, fuck that guy."

This is one of those times where genuine curiosity gets in the way of any sort of weird questions he might ask. Of course he has plenty of those, but right now he's just going for the serious questions as opposed to the weird. Especially since the weird questions are probably better served for an adult troll, the last thing he needs is the Capitol thinking he's more of a skeeve than he is.

Bro would be a little more impressed with seadwelling trolls if he weren't at odds with the sea in general. When one gets eaten by sharks, it leaves you a little bitter. Seeing Eridan's sharp teeth had given him war flashbacks. But still, it's pretty interesting- he just can't imagine being ruled by something in the ocean. "I ain't met Feferi," he says with a shrug. "But I can agree with you, fuck that guy. I dunno what the fuck you just said, but it sounds insulting and I agree."

He scoots closer, and holds out his fist for a fistbump. "I threw a donut at his face, I feel like you can appreciate that."

Sollux is definitely not an adult troll. He wouldn't be able to give his age in years, but he sure as fuck doesn't look out of his teens. He's gangly and still growing and has the bulk of that puberty thing still to go through. Save it for a couple sweeps down the line.

As for the conversation actually happening, Bro's answer lights his face right up. Not literally, due to the unfortunate lack of his psionics, but Sollux nonetheless grins in all his over-fanged glory. He scoots over himself and meets the fistbump readily. "Fuck yeth. I'd do the thame if I could get away with it."

When he sits back, though, he doesn't return to his first spot. Bro seriously won himself some points; he is officially cool in his notepad.exe.

"Okay, my turn," he says now. No way was he going to let this go in one direction. "What'th with the shadeth? How the heck did you have little grub oneth ready for Dave when his meteor crashed?"

Bro's glad to know his hunch was on the mark and that Sollux can appreciate the fact that he hit Eridan in the head with a donut. As fun as it is trolling people, getting along with them is pretty fun, too. It's always nice to move on from hitting someone in the head with a marble to bonding over a shared dislike of a troll with an attitude problem. It doesn't happen enough, to be honest.

He leans back, satisfied, when their fistbump is complete. Bro gives a nod of acknowledgement as Sollux declares it his turn, lightly folding his arms over his chest as he waits. When it comes, he lets out a snort. "Alright, but after this my next question is going to be how the fuck do you know all about my life?"

Not that he cares much, but he's still curious. "That's two, by the way. But I'll give you a freebie. Anyway, they're just fuckin' cool, what else is there to say?" He's a huge anime dweeb, that's the real answer. "Dave's fat baby ass riding in on a meteor wasn't a complete shock to me. I would've preferred if he didn't crash exactly where he did, though. Asshole destroyed my favorite record shop." He's still bitter. "Anyway, I knew enough to have 'em ready."

Sollux nods to the question Bro makes. It's not unusual to wonder; he would have asked it a long time ago if he were the one in Bro's shoes. But for the moment he'll stay silent so he can actually hear his answers.

"Mine are better. Uthually I've got a pair that match my eyeth," he explains, simple and matter-of-fact. Funny points just aren't as cool as red and blue lenses. The fact that Bro had some idea what to expect, on the other hand, has him lifting an eyebrow. "What about the hoofbeatht? Did you ekthpect that?"

But anyway, answer time. Sollux clears his throat. "Okay, long thtory short we - trollth that ith - are the oneth who created you. Humanth, your planet, your univerthe, the whole deal. At leatht that one? I'm pretty sure thith planet we're on ith unrelated, and I've theen other weird people bethideth..." He waves a hand.

"Tho Dave ended up playing Thgrub, obviouthly, and got money through that, and thent Terethi a tranthfer for thome reathon. She had me trathe it to thee who it wath from becauthe at that point we were thtuck on a meteor in thpathe and didn't know anything about you guyth thpethifically. Tho I trathe it, eathy, open up a view port to actually get a look, and I bathically thaw Dave'th wrigglerhood including the whole part where you were hith weird adult human luthuth. Whatever you call it."

Now that he thinks about it, he asks, "What'th your name, by the way? I'm Thollukth Captor."

Bro is going to quietly refrain from commenting on the fact that Sollux's glasses sound like those stupid 3D glasses from the 90s before 3D got more advanced and less stupid. He thinks if he were to say anything, it would only put an end to their little truce. Oh, but he's itching to.

Thankfully, Sollux continues and what he has to say knocks the stupid 3D glasses out of his mind. It's probably not the weirdest thing he's heard in his lifetime, but it's certainly in the running. His whole life feels like a lie. All those years spent in church, believing in a higher power, only to find out the truth is a tiny little gray alien with a lisp?

Grandma Strider would be so distraught.

"I feel so retroactively violated," he says in a deadpan. "How do I know you didn't also spy on private times? I take long-ass showers, I hope you didn't peek." His tone turns light just to show he's kidding, in case that isn't clear. "Anyway to answer your first question, nah. I didn't see the pony coming, but I'm adaptable." That was some good eating, that's for sure. "Bro," he says, "That's all you need to know, Sollux." Because no one ever gets to know the name behind the name. No one.

Wow, no. Sollux's shades are the best thing since sliced grubloaf. They match his eyes. Regular sunglasses would just look stupid. And technically speaking, the truth is a group of twelve little grey aliens with several different impediments and distinctions, but close enough.

His lip still curls at the joke, but he can take a joke and run with it. "And barf at whatever your thpecieth hath in itth pantth? Ew, no."

He stays in good spirits as Bro continues. The particularity of the name means little to him, so he doesn't pick at it. Better still, he doesn't have to correct him on pronunciation; there is ever gratitude for people who automatically bypass the lisp. He can respect the adaptability to the pony situation, too, and he flashes a thumbs up for it. Good job.

"Okay, nektht question. I'm guethhing you've got more thtill."

"Excuse me, but we have pure beauty in our pants. And I mean if you created our universe, then shouldn't you take responsibility for what we have in our pants? Should've tailored it to your tastes, bro." This is tiptoeing dangerously close to inappropriate, but he takes it slightly farther. "I'm sure it's way prettier than whatever the universe vomited down yours."

It takes him a second to think of his next question, having gotten too caught up in all of that. But it comes back to him, what he'd planned on asking. "Alright, so. You guys have different blood colors and shit, right? What's the deal with that?"

No, Bro, no. Sollux's curled lip turns to proper disgust, scrunching his eyes and eyebrows and worsening his mouth to an aghast scowl. "One, we didn't get to thpethifically dethign you from the ground up. Two, we are not talking about my bulge, ever, or the vomit ith going to be from me onto you. Jutht thtop, dude."

He's just going to edge on back a space. He's not leaving yet, though, not offended enough to do so. He eases mildly as Bro moves on to ask something else.

"Genetic weirdnethh," he says. His shoulders slip out of the hunch they'd entered, hands going to the floor for him to lean back against. "Athk thomeone elthe if you want thpethificth or the order they go in, but like, there'th a bunch of colorth and they make up thith thing called the hemothpectrum. At the top are thea dwellers, which are like, purple and magenta or whatever you call thothe, and then the retht are land dwellerth, which, uh..." One hand lifts to tip back and forth. "Warm blooded trollth are low oneth? I can't keep track of which ith lowetht, but bathically Eridan thinkth me being yellow meanth I'm thome thcummy muthtard blood, tho whatever."

He hums, thinking before he adds, "Colder blood colorth live longer, too, and they're higher up on the thpectrum. Now how doeth that thtuff work for humanth?"

Bro can tell he's crossed a line, that much is obvious. He hadn't really meant to, but a part of him also doesn't care. If Sollux is going to be that sensitive about all this, then he deserves to get offended. But even so, he's crossed that line and now he's going to backtrack a little to carefully toeing it, just because he would very much like to stay on the troll's good side now that they've bonded over hating Eridan.

As Sollux launches into his little explanation, Bro will lift a pair of white panties and wave them around in surrender, even if the gesture is lost on him. He does it subtly enough that it won't likely interrupt the troll too much.

It's not the most detailed or textbook-worthy explanation, but it gets the job done. It all seems a bit overly complicated, though, at least compared to how things are on earth. Or had been, considering it's gone now. "It all sounds so needlessly complex to me," he says with a shrug. "But as far as how things are where I come from? It's nothing to do with blood. It's who you know, it's what you do and it's mostly how much money you have. You have like, lower class, middle class, then upper class. So basically poor, well off, and then richer than god."

As it turns out, his explanation is worse than Sollux's.

"And then there's me," he says, gesturing to himself dramatically. "The guy who rules it all with puppet porn."

Edited 2014-10-02 03:30 (UTC)

What the hell is with this guy and panties? Why's he waving them around? He raises an eyebrow in the midst of things, and at the end he has to say, "Put thothe down, I don't want any."

His arms fold up, and the skeptical look continues even as Bro replies. Sorry, dude, but you're fucking weird.

(His explanation wasn't even that complicated. He's no Karkat. ~~Karkat's dead.~~)

"Needlethhly complicated ith about it," he manages after a moment. "Go figure why athholeth get tho invethted in it; they jutht end up uthing it ath an ekthcuthe for acting like thweaty globethackth to everyone elthe."

Earth society and... puppet porn... are a bit harder to parse. Money going with power isn't too new, but generally that goes together with the caste system, and here this guy makes it seem like it's all there without it. Human society is kind of weird in general, from what little he knows, and he's about to say something to that effect when Bro finishes off with that gem.

"That'th what the puppetth were for?" And okay, wow, no, he's getting up now. He grabs his bucket, not without a cringe at it in light of this conversation, and straightens up. "Dude, that'th methhed up. I don't know what you're doing with that, or your weird panty empire, but I don't want any part of it."

God Sollux, use your brain. He's waving them around as a gesture of peace, stop getting so annoyed! Bro just keeps waving them around like it's no big deal and like he isn't being a bit of an annoying prick. It's his default mode, he just can't help it.

He honestly isn't, however, expecting the little quip about puppet porn being the thing that sends their meeting over the edge. Bro had added it innocently enough ~~as innocently as one can when talking about porn~~ so when Sollux seems to get all offended and starts getting up, Bro's eyebrows shoot up. "Hey, where you going?" He doesn't actually want the conversation to end, oddly enough. He's been alone a while this arena, it's been nice just sort of... talking. When he asks that, he even sounds a little like he doesn't want Sollux to go- which is rare for him, usually he sounds deadpan.

"We don't have to talk about my weird messed up porn," he says, throwing his hands up exasperatedly. "We can talk about... uh. Whatever you enjoy talking about. What do you enjoy talking about? Siddown. Talk."

How is he supposed to know about human surrender panties?? He only ever watched one human baby grow up in a very unusual household. He stays standing, posture closed in and defensive as he answers, "Away from your weird fetisheth ith where."

But Bro seems to back down, if not without an attitude, leaving Sollux to eye him with a raised eyebrow. "Promithe you'll keep the pantieth on the pile," he says carefully, "and then we can talk. You had video gameth in your hive, right?"

He's not opposed to talking if Bro will behave himself, really. he's just weird. Aggressively, unrelentingly weird, and also an alien, which is not as odd as it could be but still, cultural differences. Video games at least seem a safe topic. He doubts Bro is a guy much into bees, and he doesn't feel like going into the topic of computers nor his missing psionics.

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