thearena | To be blind is not miserable; to not be able to bare blindness, that is miserable

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To be blind is not miserable; to not be able to bare blindness, that is miserable

Who| Jet, Nasir, Bucky (MCU), Alex Murphy and Albert
What| Jet and Nasir get into a fght resulting in hot oil to the eyes and blindness, Bucky and Alex help
Where| In the food court, eventually ending on the third floor
When| Late into the second week
Warnings/Notes| There will be eye-damage and burns in this log

For an arena, things had been going pretty smoothly, at least on their end. There's been a couple minor cuts and scrapes and bruises, but that was hardly concerning considering they were supposed to be fighting for their lives. They would have to eventually, he was sure of it, but if they could put it off as long as possible, that would be better.

This morning, however, they needed to restock their supplies, both food and other things. This time it was Jet to suggest they split up. Since it didn't seem like that big of a deal beyond that first night, he figured it was just smarter to get the errands done faster to keep them out of danger. Albert had been the one to get the food the last few times, so Jet offered to do it this time instead.

It was early enough, he doubted he'd run into very many people, especially any that wanted to cause trouble.

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"Good...that's how I like my cranky Germans."

Jet can feel the worry and tension in his partner's face there under his fingertips, but as much as he'd like to wipe it away, he doesn't know how. He can't even wipe it away for himself beyond dumb jokes.

The blond groped for the kit, searching for the bandages so Albert could wrap Jet's eyes again. Even now, they were open out of habit and the fact he could feel them open and saw nothing made that anxious squirming in his chest intensify. His fingers brushed the roll and he offered it to Albert.

However, the question he posed had nothing to do with the medical supplies: "What do we do now? I have no hope of winning like this."

He hums more than chuckles, a light noise that shows amusement for Jet's words but is distracted by his action soon after. The bandage he takes but puts back in the kit. "The wound needs to be uncovered for awhile, until the heat's out of it."

As for what to do...

"We'll make do. I'll only leave to get us food. Hopefully if we can stay out of the way, we'll make it to the last few." And then what, he'll single-handedly kill every other tribute and then off himself to leave Jet the victor? Only he'd still be blind. The Capitol could grant him new eyes perhaps then- but what is he thinking? Leave Jet under the Capitol's knife? Better to die and awaken again safe back in the tower, whole and intact.

But in order to do that...

Albert's mouth again presses into a thin line, at an utter loss.

The fact about the bandage is disheartening, but he doesn't argue; his knowledge of burns was very rudimentary: flush with cold water, let someone else handle it.

Albert's lack of response to Jet's question did not go unnoticed. So Albert didn't know either, that was fair. Jet doubted he'd know if their positions were switched; true, he'd rant and fight the inevitable, but it would be inevitable. Still, for now, Albert wants to play hopeful and for all the lack of hope Jet feels, he's willing to cling to it himself.

"I scared him off with the paintball pistol, it might work on others the same way; you won't have to worry about me while you make runs." Because he wouldn't be able to go without being a burden, so he'd need to try and not be a burden even while he was just sitting there.

"Maybe I can make short runs or something, just somewhere nearby." He was reaching, it was very unlikely he'd be able to or even that Albert would give him the chance to, but the small thought that maybe he could made him have to suggest it. At least, then, he wouldn't be useless.

"No," he answers quickly to the second, squelching the thought before it's even fully out of Jet's mouth. He can't risk anyone getting their hands on Jet in this state. He would be an easy kill with his sight gone. Maybe not as easy as some, but simple enough if the attacker had any experience at all.

"I can make do. I won't need to get as much since it's just for us." He hates to sentence Jet to sitting here without anything to do, though. "I can get some books maybe, to read aloud, and I know where to find music if you want me to get some headphones."

Jet could listen while Albert is there to watch, though not while hes gone. He'd be afraid Jet wouldn't hear danger if it approached. Granted, he's not sure what Jet would do about the danger even if he did.

"And then what? While you're gone, I sit here like some worried and feeble wife while her damn hunter husband's out getting the food? What if something happens to you, then what? Am I supposed to just sit here wondering what happened?

I can't just sit here, blind and in silence, waiting!" It scared him, it scared him so damn much that everything was dark and sometimes things got too quiet and it was just him and his thoughts and his fears about his partner. He was so scared that Albert would need him and Jet wouldn't be there.

He was terrified that Albert would die and Jet wouldn't have a clue until hours had passed and then what was he supposed to do? He'd be alone.

"Do you have a better idea?" Albert's voice drops, the icy plunge in volume he uses when Jet's being unreasonable, meant to diffuse and make his partner rethink his position.

He hates using it now, with Jet helpless next to him. He knows the words only come from a place of anxious fear at the loss of his sense, the one Jet prizes most, but there's little they can do about it now. Going off to find Nasir would only satisfy his primal need for revenge, leaving Jet alone and exposed to other threats. Staying here and protecting him will only work for awhile. They'll run out of food eventually and he'll have to go get more, still leaving Jet unprotected. And bringing Jet with him is right out. To move silently you have to know your surroundings and while they've done plenty of reconnaissance, it's not home. They don't have it memorized, and things change at will in the arena. There is no fourth option as he can see.

So he waits for Jet to admit himself that there is no alternative, or maybe surprise him with something that's actually viable, all the while unable to offer that warmth he knows his partner needs, the sense that things will be alright.

How can they be?

The tone he recognized and it hurt to hear it now, like Jet was being so thoroughly unreasonable to want to be useful to his partner that Albert felt the need to chastise him. It hurt and it showed on his face.

The problem was that there was nothing to wait for, he already knew; there was nothing to admit if he'd already thought of it. He knew there was nothing else they could do and that was part of why he was so frustrated. It was one thing to be blind, it was another thing to become a burden because of it.

A small smile clawed its way onto his face and he turned his face down. "Maybe we should just find someone to finish the job, probably wouldn't be too hard to find a volunteer."

"That's not funny." It's clear in his voice that Albert's mouth is pressed into a thin, mirthless line. With the conversation they'd had before, Jet trying to make him promise that he'd kill Jet if it ever came to it, it's still something he doesn't want to entertain but also nothing he would ever leave to anyone else. He has terrible visions sometimes, memories of Jet being eaten alive, eyes rolling back in his head as flesh is torn from bone; bleeding out on the museum floor; falling from such a height that he turns to stardust...

How many times is he going to have to watch Jet die?

"You'll just have to make do." His voice is so quiet and collected but it still can't hide the desolate weight of death that Albert feels pressing down. "Please."

"I know...sorry." Joking about it was the only power over his fear he had, but it was badly timed and he recognized his mistake in Albert's tone. He wouldn't let someone else kill the German either; he needed to remember that what he thought for himself didn't mean it was how Albert saw things, he only had to turn the question around to know the real answer.

He can hear it, the pain in his partner's voice and he can only assume he put it there. Jet's regret was worn on his sleeve, though he kept his face down. "I will...I'll try." It's the best he can do.

Jet was silent, hesitating as he thought about how Albert was feeling and how he was feeling, all the helplessness and fear between them...there was nothing they could do, but maybe there was something that could help.

"Al...come here...please." He wanted to feel the older man's touch, to have his fiance in his arms as Jet lay in his; he wanted that closeness, though he didn't know fully how to ask for it. He hadn't had to ask for it in a long time, it was usually simply given to him.

He didn't mean to make Jet ask. He wasn't his intent at all to get wrapped up in his own worries concerning their future in the arena. No, he's supposed to support Jet in his time of need, keep him from panicking or feeling too low.

Some help he is.

Albert moves back over, pulling Jet against him gently with his arm remaining around his fiance's shoulders. "I'm here."

He lets out a soft breath, recentering himself, focusing on what's important; protecting the man in his arms.

"I'm here."

Jet's arms came up to wrap around his partner, his forehead resting against the German's neck. "Thank you."

His voice was quiet, but already he felt marginally better. The slight shakiness in his frame settled under Albert's warmth and some of the fear finally abated, despite the dark and the quiet.

"Al...what you said about the books and the music player...I'd like that."

Even if he couldn't listen to it while Albert was gone, having something distracting while the German was there would be nice too. He was going to say something about finding something to alleviate the silence while his partner was gone, but another thought occurred to him.

"Hey...promise me you'll actually get some sleep and not drive yourself into the ground trying to protect me."

"I'll go on an errand later then. Not yet." He doesn't want to leave Jet's side right now, not just for his own sake in wanting to protect his partner, but in that he knows this has to be more frightening and terrible for Jet than he's letting on.

"And I promise I'll try to sleep. I need to be able to look after you, after all." Though that doesn't mean he'll necessarily succeed. This whole situation is so stressful and considering what he may have to eventually do...

He can try. That's really all he can promise.

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To be blind is not miserable; to not be able to bare blindness, that is miserable

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