and when he dreams; open

[aintyourdad]

Who| Joel and You?!?!
What| Ellie is dead. Joel is very, very upset. And out for blood.
Where| Sixth floor mostly - but he's on the move so he can be anywhere in the upper floors.
When| First half of week 4
Warnings/Notes| Very possibly violence, definitely swearing, fantasizing about brutally murdering people, and mentions of the gruesome death of children.

Ding.

He almost didn't hear it, keeping away from the elevator banks as he was. Even in this state, even lost in the memories, both recent and more distant, the blood soaked into his clothes and the bandages on his hands -- he knew better than to approach the elevators without caution.

Ding.

His thought wasn't to get supplies. His thought was to find whoever else might've been stupid enough to follow the sound, poke their head out to see. He had a crowbar, and he wanted nothing more than to smash someone's head in with it, watch the blood and brains splatter everywhere, know that he was getting rid of someone who would've wanted to hurt Ellie, hurt Sarah, hurt his baby girl.

But Ellie was gone. Sarah was gone. The soldier was dead. Aunamee... He didn't know where Aunamee was.

Ding.

The elevator doors were open. No one else was around. Joel crouched behind a display case, ears open for sounds nearby. Nothing. Nothing but the canister that sat in the elevator. Fine. If someone wanted to kill him, they were welcome to. Joel shot forward, grabbing it and dashing back for cover.

It wasn't until he ducked into the restroom that he finally got a good look at it - saw that it had his name on it, saw that it had a note attached. For him.

I'm alright. Still here. I'll see you on the other side. -Ellie

Bandaged hands shaking, he sank to the floor, a choked sob echoing off the walls.

-----

[ooc: feel free to intercept him on his way to/from the elevator, in the restroom, or write up your own starter for Joel to stumble upon!]

Comments

[acroodawakening]

Sobbing was not the kind of thing that screamed "I'm about to murder someone." Sobbing meant sadness or relief or being overwhelmed or all of the above.

That and the fact the voice sounded almost familiar was enough for Guy to investigate the source of the sob, cautiously pushing the door to the restrooms.

"Someone sounds sad in here so I'm here to be nice," he babbled, "don't kill me and I won't kill you."

[aintyourdad]

The voice had him scrambling up before he even grasped what it was saying - what he was saying. Crowbar halfway to his hand before he realized he recognized it.

"Goddammit," he said, voice rough with emotion, exhaustion, pain, everything. But without much actual venom. "You gotta be more fuckin' careful who you walk in on. And I don't need anything."

Anything. Nice. Company. What he needed was something to do.

[acroodawakening]

"I think it's a little too late to worry much about that," Guy said as he wobbled his way closer, leaning heavily against the wall. He seemed to be having trouble staying upright and the cause of it was obvious when he turned just slightly.

The side of his face had a dried trail of blood from his eardrum popping thanks to Gabriel's angelic explosion. It wasn't the worst injury in the world, especially considering the wanton destruction he'd barely escaped but vertigo really wasn't ideal for a death match. He had to lean heavily against the wall as he stood there.

He'd already accepted the most likely outcome of that and it left him feeling a bit more daring. Why worry so much about dying when you'd done it once and had very little chance of avoiding it happening again?

[designatedfreak]

She was halfway between the fifth and sixth floors when the sprinklers turned on. The sharp pain didn't register, but the sudden expansion of gas across the stairs did and suddenly Max found herself racing to the sixth floor and diving through the gates. She let out a heavy breath as she tumbled into a nude wax figure. Now that she was still Max could feel the pain as her skin froze.

Quickly she tore off her pack so that she could grab the first aid kit. Thin fingers unzipped the top of her pajamas, uncaring that someone could ambush her, and hoping the small drops that had gone down her back hadn't left her skin in too burned. So far she'd made it relatively uninjured despite the small scuffles she'd been in, but she knew a tiny burn could quickly hinder her ability to protect herself and her allies. There was no reaching any burns on her back, but she did cover what she could in antiseptic cream. Already she thought she could feel a small blister or two forming on her back. She was beginning to hate this world.

[aintyourdad]

Ambush was right. Joel was lying in wait, hoping for someone hostile enough to warrant throttling.

Unfortunately, a kid didn't qualify. Even now, with Ellie gone, all alone, Joel couldn't just hurt a kid. It was like ripping his heart out all over again, but you should help people when you can ran through his mind, in her voice, like she'd become his conscience somewhere alone the line.

She had, in a way.

"D'you need any help?" he asked, stepping out from his hiding place, keeping his voice low, nonthreatening, hands up to show he meant no harm.

[designatedfreak]

Max spun around and raised her knife. She knew better and yet here she was sitting around just waiting for someone to get on up on her. The sudden movement pulled her skin and she had to kick herself into not showing any pain.

"I'm fine." She didn't move the knife, but there was a slight relaxation in her gaze. The man was making all the right actions to show that he was no threat, but it could very well be he was just that good of an actor.

[hit_girl_mindy]

"You didn't know."

She was here. Quiet, hiding, waiting. She had lost track of Aunamee but that didn't mean she wasn't looking, wasn't hiding and waiting. He would be running, and eventually, she would find him. But now she needed to bide her time. More importantly, she wanted help.

And this was exactly the guy she needed.

"How much time do you need before you get up and we look." Her tone was curt, quiet. She wasn't in an arena mood now: she was n a hunting for a perp mode.

[aintyourdad]

A lot of things were warring within him - the desire to be alone with his grief for a while; memories of twenty years ago, of the way he'd never been able to grieve properly for Sarah, in the middle of the outbreak; Ellie's face hovering over him those cold, cold weeks in Colorado as he drifted in and out of consciousness; Ellie's body, tiny and soaking wet and not breathing in Salt Lake City; Ellie's body the other day, still and going cold and seeping with blood; the desire to just hit, punch, beat, kill.

Now, another girl. Wanting him to get up. Get up and we look. Look, for what?

Aunamee.

Yeah, that was it. That was exactly what he needed. In the canister, along with the note which he shoved into his bag, was food. Couple of days' worth, he thought, like the last one he got. He stowed it away, letting the canister roll away, empty, under the door of a toilet stall. Then he stood.

"Let's go find him," he said to Mindy.

[hit_girl_mindy]

A small smile formed on her face. It wasn't easy for anyone to get up and walk after they lost someone they cared about, so she knew that he was running on reserves. She walked over to him, gesturing to her bag.

"Need any water, some food or something?" You must have had a rough couple of days, from wherever you were."

[tis_allgood]

The echoed sobs drew Cuthbert's attention easily. But while he might normally come right in with the intent to kill whoever was making themselves such a target, he froze when he saw just exactly who it was.

He hadn't seen much of this particular tribute, but he already reminded Bert of people he knew from home. Which just made the tears hard to handle.

"Sai, calm down or you'll be killed like this."

Bert took the chance and knelt down beside Joel to try and comfort him.

[aintyourdad]

Joel looked up at the stranger, his gaze hard, distant, lost in pain and memories.

"What makes you so sure that's not what I want?" he asked gruffly.

[tis_allgood]

Bert hadn't really thought of that, honestly.

"I... don't know. But if you're looking for a fast trip back to the Capitol, I would be happy to help. Whatever is needed to stop this, I cannot stand to see a grown man like this."

He looked and sounded entirely sincere about that, both the offer to take Joel's life and that he couldn't stand to watch him cry.

Vague enough time frame I have no idea.

[undercoverprincess]

She can't stay in the elevator shaft forever. Cindy obviously knew that, and had planned her forays into the rest of the museum carefully. She went to get food and water, check out the situations on the different floor, and then see what she could grab in the way of weapons. Not that there were many left, all things considered; everyone was smart and got what they wanted right off the bat. Which is exactly what she had done, but it made sense to double check.

And then it was right back to the elevator. Except the third floor was toast, and that meant she had to figure out new ways for her to get where she wanted, and get what she wanted.

Why Cindy was out this time? On the search for food, while keeping an eye out for anyone who might be around. You had to be careful, and with the weeks going on, the group was dwindling down. Turning the corner, she thought she saw something(someone) out of the corner of her eye, and she flattened herself against the wall, knives out and ready.

/waves hands vaguely

[aintyourdad]

Aunamee. That was the only thing running through his head for the past couple of days. Ellie was gone, but someone had killed her, had ripped a hole in her and left her to bleed to death on the floor of the museum. Aunamee had done that.

And Joel was going to find Aunamee. Whatever it took.

Turning a corner, he spotted someone, and ducked back around, crouching low to listen. If he could figure out who it was...

Taking a page from Guy's book, eventually he called out - keeping his voice low. "I'm not interested in killin'. I'll defend myself if I have to, but I'm not here to kill anybody."

Except Aunamee.

Pretty much who cares about logistics

[undercoverprincess]

They must have just seen each other at the same time, with them now in their current positions. She was almost ready to call out, when she heard him call out.

Him. It was a man, and honestly, a man she did not know. Had never heard his voice before, and she was familiar with everyone's voices. A new guy thrown in here? Maybe. Time goes crazy in the arena, not always knowing what day it was.

"Can't say I'm not interested in killing, but I'm not interested in killing you." Cindy called out. "I'll defend myself fully. Think we've laid down the ground rules enough to come out?"

[swill]

Oh, this was going to be fun.

Oh, he could feel himself just wanting to dissolve into nothing like he had been wanting for days, could hardly convince himself to breathe because it was a simple thing asked of him, and it'd be a quick thing. He could feel his stomach doing backflips, and it was a rare thing. If he wasn't so sure he disliked the man like it was the most natural thing in the world, he might just quip about being in love. The fella was built enough. But no. And who ever thought Hawkeye was absolutely useless, well-- well, damn them. Because he wasn't just exhausted, he was also very tired. And he still moved, still worked. Last he figured, he was also still in his right mind, whether that ever classified as sane was no worry of his. He'd seen Joel already. Maybe Joel had seen him- the thought making him want to turn away before the mission even starts. He had slept once, and that was all he bothered to remember about how much time had passed, his only gauge seeing as his bruises felt as fresh and numb as when they'd been given. Hawkeye admitted to himself then that he was a sissy, was beyond delicate and unfit for the abuse. He stepped forward and didn't even wave hello.

Saying how do you do seemed stupid even to him, so he stands taller despite wanting to lean and asks, "Would you recognize Ellie's handwriting?" Which he supposes is out of the blue, and he gets that saying a dead girl's name isn't right, but what part of this was? A yes or no question, and a hopeful one at that. What more could he give? He was as powerless here as the rest of them and it wasn't his fault if nobody understood. However, far from being callous and ill-intended, the question fell from his mouth with a respected weight. Hawkeye figured outright sympathy wasn't something Joel wanted from him.

[aintyourdad]

Her handwriting. Joel's fists clenched and he shook his head. Part of him still wanted nothing more than to beat Hawkeye to death - just hit him until he was crumpled on the floor in a heap. But he hadn't killed Ellie. Even in his current state, Joel wasn't stupid. He'd seen enough wounds to know she wouldn't have survived hers, no matter what anyone did.

But her handwriting. He almost laughed - maybe would've, if he could've produced the sound at all. But it was beyond him at this point.

"We walked halfway across the fuckin' country, took us almost a year, but I never saw her handwriting," he admitted finally, his voice lower and more broken than ever.

[swill]

Hawkeye wasn't stupid, either. He wasn't going to get close. The distance between them is enough that no punch will reach him, no swing of the crowbar. If the damned thing was thrown, he'd have time to at least see and brace. He was skittish. Joel's hands twitched and Hawkeye did a good job of not bolting the fuck away.

The reason being that he had a note in his pocket, and of course Joel had never seen her handwriting. Because now his proof was nothing more personal than something that may have been typed on a machine. If Hawkeye didn't think the girl was stupid enough to watch the event on television, he would never have gone hunting. A hand comes up to rub at his eyes.

This was well beyond uncomfortable.

"I have a message from her," he continues, thinking he had sealed his fate as a nut forever and not quite minding, because if thinking Ellie was alive-- and his mind blanked, just there, and he sounded a little groan of frustration. He feels like she's with the Angels should follow, but it wouldn't. And good thing, too. Of all the-- how could he ever hope to explain this and not sound mad? He wasn't. By God, all he was was tired. Joel could grieve and keep grieving- Hawkeye just couldn't. The fog of it clung, and he sounded like he should be put to bed. Like he had no clue. He didn't. "She, uh. After the Arena- has that been explained to you?" His throat was tight again, and he looked on with his gaze flickering from the fist to the face.

[polyturtle]

Don hadn't exactly been looking for anyone. In fact, He'd been quietly making his way up the stairs when he heard the sobbing. Quickly steeling himself for a feint or trap, he quietly made his way towards the source.

And found himself looking at a man he hadn't seen before. Very quietly, he found himself inching closer, his hand ready to get to his weapon, just in case the encounter turned hostile after all.

[aintyourdad]

A sound - of some kind - snapped him out of his reverie, and for a moment, Joel's brain couldn't quite line up with what he was seeing. Like Kankri before, his first instinct was to jump back and shout, 'what the actual hell is that?'

However, he did understand that some people might take offense to that tactic, and he managed to keep his reaction down to a start, and an automatic reach for his crowbar as he stood up. A defensive position, however - not offensive. A stance that said I'll hit you if you come at me, but only then.

"The hell are you?" he asked - okay, only marginally more polite than what are you, but still.

[polyturtle]

He was used to it, by this time. The fact he wasn't just charging at him was a...good sign, he supposed. Though, again, what the shell was with his attempts at stealth in this Arena?

He let out his breath.

"Turtle," he replied. "What happened?"

[privilegecheck]

Night had finally rolled around again, the announcements confirming what Kankri already knew - had already seen. Signless was among the dead for this Arena.

Venus kept trying to fuss over him, but for once he didn't want any of it. He didn't want to sit still long enough to think. This was hard enough already. So he promised her he'd stay safe and out of sight and went on a walk.

He was among the eerie statues of the dead on the top floor when he noticed his bare feet through the skylight's illumination. Still encrusted with that dried-up blood. His stomach roiled, and he wanted to puke, but he forced himself to swallow the bile because there just wasn't enough food to waste now.

He ducked into the restroom with the intent of washing the blood off when he heard the sobbing. Cautiously he eased the door shut with hardly a sound, then peeked around the stalls. At least it was someone he recognized, even if that only made him relax the most minute bit. It took him a few moments to dredge up the name.

"Joel, isn't it?" His voice sounded so hoarse and tired, he made a face hearing himself.

[aintyourdad]

He wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to the troll's appearance, honestly. It was just so startlingly strange. But in his current state, there was no way Kankri was getting anything more extreme than a glance and raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," he growled, his voice in a similar state, though he didn't care. He didn't care one bit. He glanced at his hands, flexed his bandaged fingers. They would need changing soon. He couldn't bring himself to care about that, either.

[celebrityskinned]

Venus doesn't go into the men's bathroom by accident, in some haze of obliviousness. She goes in with conscious intent. She goes in with an angry stalk that seems out of place with the stitched gash slicing across her face and the swollen leg she has to force herself to put weight on.

And she has no sympathy in her eyes when she stands in the doorway, glaring at Joel, one hand resting on the frame, chin tilted up with disdain that comes from rage barely contained.

"Nice job blowing it, Joel."

[aintyourdad]

Joel really doesn't think he's asking much to be left alone for maybe thirty minutes so he can wallow in grief and self-pity before he moves on. Moves on to find Aunamee. The one who did this. The one who put a hole in his baby girl and left her there to die.

But no, apparently a moment of peace is impossible, because here she comes, and Joel registers only intruder, annoyance. She's not a threat. She was badly injured the last time they met, she can't be much better now, and indeed, the way she moves proves it.

He doesn't respond, doesn't rise to her bait, just stands. If she wants someone to yell at, she can yell at a toilet. He owes her nothing.

Things happen, and we move on.

There's nothing to say. Ellie is dead, and the world is a shitty place, what else is new? He's been through this song and dance enough times to know that shouting about who's fault it is won't do any good. So he stands, makes to leave. He'll physically move her aside if he has to.