thearena | One of the guys

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One of the guys

Who: Charles "Orc" and anyone interested
what: Deep thinking, Charlie style.
When: Week 3
Where: First Floor mezzanine

Charles had alot on his mind.

He didn't like how it felt.

Torn between his best friend since childhood and an obviously insane but attractive girl who needed his help he didn't know how the old saying "Bros before hoes" ever sounded like it was an easy choice. Especially since he still couldn't find Howard. He was starting to worry the boy had died and he'd slept through the announcement.

To complicate matters Aunamee, the man who had tormented Howard so badly was an ally of Eponine so Orc could no longer hurt him without upsetting the girl.

As much as Orc hated to admit it...she wasn't giving him alot of options.

But every time he thought about breaking it off with her he thought of how sad she looked when Howard had broken up with her. Then of how happy she'd looked their first night together among the wax figures when she'd taken him into her nest and...

The memories alone were enough to make the teenage boys chubby cheeks red with embarrassment.

So to try and clear his head he had procured a club from the cavemen statues upstairs, and a basket full of rubber balls from the gift shop. Each one was colored like a planet in space. He actually thought if he tried hard he might remember them all, but the colors started to blend together so he never got more then a few.

Dragging his basket out into the mezzanine he began. Gingerly with his broken right hand he would pick up one of the balls with his fingertips. It hurt but he'd been dealing with it for two weeks now and he'd just gotten used to the occasional stabbing in his wrist.

He would use his arm to launch the ball up and then as quick as he could he would swing the club with his left arm to try and hit it.

His aim...was terrible. But for every five balls he through one or two he would successfully hit. And as he continued practicing that would get better...probably.

He particularly loved the PONG sound each ball made when it hit something. It reminded him of dodgeball in gym class. Now THERE was a sport. No one died, plenty of brutality. And best of all Orc was good at it.

Aiming for one of the dusty posters hanging high he threw the ball and swung again.

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He blinked puzzled, then looked at the club in his hands and the basket of balls and shrugged.

"Seemed like fun. I haven't played baseball since before the Fayz. I'm not even doing it right but it feels good." He turned the club around in his hand offering her the handle and took a few steps forward.

"You wanna try?"

Diana smirked and started to head towards him, shrugging and reaching out for the bat. "Sure, why the hell n-"

Stopping in place she left her hand hovering in the air as she eyed him. "Wait. Why do you...?"

Twisting her mouth in puzzlement, she even turned her head slightly as she peered at him. "Orc, aren't you..."

Her eyes widen slightly, something similar to a smile tugging her lips. "No way."

He looked confused, which was not unusual for him.

Then worried, lowering the club distracted.

"What? No way what? What aren't I?"

There's was the most stunning grin spread across Diana's face. Too bad it seemed to be at Orc's expense. "Oh my god. Oh my god."

Diana actually seemed to skip two more paces closer. "Orc, who have you been fucking?"

Well that was blunt. She casts her eyes up and down him, like he was wearing a confession around his neck.

"I mean, clearly you've done it with someone but who-"

There was a quick stop to the question as her eyebrows went shooting upwards.

"Of course. Oh. Oh, Orcy you... You didn't." She covers her mouth as if trying to contain what appeared to be excitement. "Oh but you totally did!"

And suddenly Diana Ladris look positively gleeful. "Ooooooooooooooo." The combination of things she says next actually make her bounce as she voices them.

"You lost your virginity to Howie's ex-girlfriend!" Her voice squeaks as her pitch hightens at the end, such is her uncontainable glee.

Edited 2014-02-02 03:35 (UTC)

First he looked embarrassed, his face blooming with red.

Then as she lay the rest of it out before him his stomach fell into his feet and he looked horrified.

"N-no way! Shut up!" He feebly tried to deny but he knew lying wasn't one of his strong suits. That's what Howard was for.

There was no derailing Diana's excitement now.

She blew out an exasperated puff of air. "Oh, come on, Orc. Like it isn't obvious."

Still bouncing, she closes the space between. "Aww, Orcy. Oooo, I'm just proud of you right now. I might cry." She flaps her hands infront of her, trying to find an outlet for all this energy she had all of a sudden.

"What!? No! I..." He was at a loss for words. Aside from the crippling embarrassment and sudden wave of guilt? He'd never seen Diana this happy before.

"How is it obvious!?" He finally exclaimed exasperated and paranoid that others could tell.

"Oh, Orc. Come on." She gestures at him a couple of times before just shaking her head, grin still spread wide, pooling dimples on her face.

"It just is!" Either unable to explain herself or unwilling. More than likely the latter.

Either way, Orc was very aware he was screwed.

...he'd find that turn of phrase funny if he wasn't positive this was a worst case scenario.

"You can't tell him. I have to tell him!" He snapped giving up on his pitiful defense. Clearly more worried then angry he wasn't even tense. Though he looked a little flushed.

There's a glint in Diana's eyes and she bites her bottom lip, trying to keep laughter in check while she responses.

She can't help a small giggle breaking through though.

"Oooooh, no. No way, Orcy. I'm not missing that reaction for the world." She prods his chest.

"Besides, I earned it with my detective skills."

He felt the poke in the chest and even winced a little. He was bruised there from an earlier beatdown.

But the worse terror was that she would upset Howard.

"You can't!" He begged. "You'll just do it in the worst possible way and he'll freak out and he's already freaked out enough and it's all my fault so I have to man up and tell him before he has to hear it from you or her or the TV!"

It was possibly the longest string of words Orc had shared with Diana in a very long time. It also reeked of desperation.

Diana's just stubbornly shaking her head.

"No chance. Because I know what you'll do. You'll pansy out." She waggles her finger like a scolding adult. "Because they'll be too much talking and too many words. So you'll be a big chicken."

Those pretty lips are pulled into a pout. "Or worse you'll do it when I'm not there." Her brow furrowed as if that was the worse possible outcome from all this. "And then I'll never see his reaction face to face."

He groaned and reached up to rub his face in frustraition. Unfortunately he did that with his broken hand which caused him to curse and stomp his feet and finally kick the basket of balls over sending them bouncing and rolling across the floor.

"Come onnnn." He practically whined. "Do you really have to? He's going to be pissed either way."

Diana folded her arms at the display, jutting her hip out as she took up a decisive stance.

"Throwing a tantrum won't help you. I've made up my mind."

Howard's been sneaking around up to the gift shop when he hears voices - laughter, even. It's very nearly enough to make him turn tail until he recognizes one of the voices.

That draws him out of hiding. He shows up in the doorway to the gift shop, backpack of things over his back. "Orc!"

He's genuinely delighted to see his best friend alive.

"Oh, and Diana too, I guess."

"H-howard?!" Orc yelps startled like a large dog that had been stepped on. He fumbled his club and tried to catch it with his broken hand...which of course hurt so badly he dropped the club completely cursing out loud.

The club then proceeded to fall on Orc's bare foot and he let out a magnificent and booming "FUCK!!!" Which echoed through the area and adjoining halls.

Yes...that just about summed up the situation completely.

An eyeroll. "Love you too, Howie."

Diana winced and glanced around them at the bellowing noises Orc seems to love making.

"Geeze Orc, why don't you tell everyone we're here?"

Howard flinches at Orc's voice and takes a quick step back - not necessarily away from Orc, but from the loud noise.

"Shit!"

He looks around, but no one approaches. Nothing springs out to attack them. Maybe for the moment there is some safety in numbers, and he remembers briefly what it was like to feel safe in Orc's shadow.

"Sorrysorrysorry." Orc groaned and whimpered falling onto his rump to massage the foot that he was thankful didn't seem to be broken. The club had been heavier then it looked but other then stinging and swollen his toes were fine.

Which just left the little matter of how totally screwed he was now that Howard had found them. He looked up at Diana with undisguised horror. Was she going to make good on her threats?

Diana's musical giggle slips out, covered by her hand to keep from being too loud, though now it seemed a moot point. "Did you forget you're a squishy breakable thing like us now?"

Catching Orc's eye secretly there's a flash of one of Diana's slyest smirks before she puts on the show of puzzlement. "Orc, what's that face for? I didn't drop the thing on your foot."

"Don't remind him. Anyway, he can still beat up half the people here. At least the ones without combat skills."

He tilts his head at Orc, face screwed up into a quizzical expression.

He could scarcely believe it! She was giving him an opening? Did she even realize she was doing it or was it an accident? Either way he tried to take advantage of the opportunity.

"Howard." He turned to look Howard's way but found he couldn't look Howard in the eyes "I uh...well I kind of...you see..."

Diana snapped her fingers, pointing at Orc.

"Oh, wait. Are you going to tell him about how you're not a virgin anymore?"

Howard pauses and squints. He doesn't even know how respond to that, because it seems absolutely ludicrous to him. Diana may as well have said that Orc grew wings - given their lives it's not totally out of the realm of impossibility, but it's still...out there.

"Very funny?"

It may have been funny for someone, but it was not Howard or Orc. In fact the only person in the room amused by it was Diana.

...the viewers at home were probably eating it up with a spoon.

"I...but...it's not just...I mean no I'm not but neither is...DIANA!" He turned on her to try and glare her into shutting up but having lost so much of his anger all that came out was a pathetic pleading look like a dog who'd been locked outside when they wanted to come in.

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