thearena | (no subject)

Who| Sherlock, John, Joan, Punchy, and OPEn
What| Sherlock decides to build a computer.
Where| In the Parking Garage
When| Endish of Week 2
Warnings/Notes| None yet, beyond the general warning of Sherlock being a complete tosser.

He'd been collecting pieces for days. Dissembling anything he came across that could possibly have electronic components in it, building a slowly growing pile of loot where Joan had been stashed while John built her a brace. Eventually, though, she was able to walk again, and Sherlock made the decision to make the final push.

Dragging his companions back to the parking garage with his trusty crowbar in tow and only a few broken ribs, he had all his components wrapped in various pieces of clothing stolen off the backs of glaring manikins. He would have to thank Timaeus for the crowbar later, but for now it was going to come in more useful than the man probably meant it to.

His aim was a vehicle, and he managed to find one that hadn't already been totaled by the other tributes.

"Stand back," He murmured to John and Joan as he angled into the window and cranked the door open before sliding inside. Checked the glove compartment, smirked a thanks to Punchy and drew out the key to hold it up.

"Well. Time to build a computer."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

John sighed. "Your customer, I think," he told Sherlock, folding his arms- he wasn't about to try and explain anything to Cuthbert. "He's alone, and I'll keep an eye on him."

Sherlock rolled his eyes as he turned back to his work.

"Ah, yes, my favourite thing to encourage cooperation. Threats. I work so well with the thread of "or else". What does it look like I'm doing, Cuthbert? Why not try using that brain for once, I know you have one."

"You look to be causing trouble, but what sort of trouble, I can't say. That is why I asked. Normal human beings do that; ask when they don't understand. "

He kept shifting through the shadows, both so he could get a better look at what Sherlock was up to and so that he would be harder to target himself. He genuinely doesn't know what his sometimes rival and company are up to.

"Normal people are boring," Sherlock shot back with a grumble.

"I'm building a computer, Cuthbert, something I trust you have little knowledge or interest in. Satisfied?"

"I thought you were a computer yourself, or at least you act as cold and worthless as the things I use in my room to order food. Or did you think I wouldn't know them by name by now?"

Cuthbert sounded smug and full of himself, which was pretty much his normal tone with Sherlock. He still didn't have any plans to interfere, but it was tempting.

"Tell me to what end you're building for and mayhap I'll leave you alone."

Sherlock rolled his eyes visibly.

"Oh, no, you're right, I'm incredibly impressed. I never thought you'd learn the name of things."

He pulled back enough so he could shoot Cuthbert a look.

"I felt an incredible craving to play solitaire."

"Honestly, I thought better of you. This is hardly the time to masturbate. And you don't exactly need a computer to help you with that. Or... do you?"

At that he was just confused and worried for Sherlock. He had even less idea of what the other man was up to than he had when he walked up.

John couldn't help it. He dissolved into very undignified giggles, leaning against the car. No-one was getting a sensible or intelligible response out of him for the foreseeable future.

Sherlock looked up at that, a slightly disgusted face on his lips.

"Of course you would have no idea what solitaire meant," He said, more to himself than to Cuthbert, as if chiding himself for not expecting a ridiculous answer. "But no. If I required porn I'm sure I could just steal John's."

He knew the word 'porn' and putting that together with 'computer' was new and exciting.

"Are you implying the computer has pornography? I thought you meant it would suck your cock for you."

He actually sounded relieved. That was a terrifying image and he wasn't sure he'd be able to get it out of his head.

"--my internet browser history is really not for public discussion," John complained, though he couldn't quite keep a straight face. "And I think, Cuthbert, you might be talking to the singular man in the universe who would have absolutely no use for a sex robot. Just saying."

"I can't see how any man in the universe would have need for a sex robot," Sherlock whined, utterly insulted. "But yes, Cuthbert, if you hadn't already managed to discover it, the network has an almost infinite amount of pornographic material available for your leisure. So if you don't mind, you can go and peruse that instead of bothering me."

"I mind very much! Ithought I made it clear already that now was not a time for such pleasures." He shifted his position yet again, trying to make himself harder to catch should one of the others come after him.

"But if coming here without the intent to kill thee is such a bother, mayhap I'll simply leave. You could have asked me kindly and I would have left sooner."