Aunamee had been inside R's head before. He knew how it felt. The cloudiness. The way hunger pushed him forward like how wind pushed a windmill. Nevertheless, it was jarring, grotesque to see the way his head snapped back into place after the punch. It didn't feel right without cringing or screaming. It was like a sun without light. Fire without heat. It unsettled him on some deep, fundamental level.
He wanted to kill R.
It came to him all at once, the thought blaring through the panic and the pain. He wanted to kill this boy, wanted to drag him down to the ground and beat him until he stopped moving, because it wasn't fair, the way he kept living beyond reason while Aunamee weakened before him. He stumbled back from the jaws and swung his fist once more --
-- except it didn't connect because his arm seized halfway.
This must have been it. The last straw. Panic won over all the other screaming voices in his head, and so he turned and ran, his body swaying with his uneven steps.
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He wanted to kill R.
It came to him all at once, the thought blaring through the panic and the pain. He wanted to kill this boy, wanted to drag him down to the ground and beat him until he stopped moving, because it wasn't fair, the way he kept living beyond reason while Aunamee weakened before him. He stumbled back from the jaws and swung his fist once more --
-- except it didn't connect because his arm seized halfway.
This must have been it. The last straw. Panic won over all the other screaming voices in his head, and so he turned and ran, his body swaying with his uneven steps.