"Yeah, well, I've got two little knives," Karkat retorts, grabbing the other one out of the bag. "See? I'll totally dual-wield the shit out of them." He'd demonstrate, only the bag is in the way.

"Anyway," he adds, "it's more that it feels kind of weird to get paid for that shit. If I make out with someone I want it to be because I want them, not because I want a gift."