Why isn't he leaving? Why is he trying to make suggestions to save her? For one, irrational second, Nill is angry that it wasn't enough, that he's not doing what he should, what would probably be the kindest thing. But then again, if she had actually been kind about it, she would have made him see things. She would have made it seem like she was fine, and just projected an image, and led him away until she didn't have the energy to keep it up. It would have been better. He'd hate her for it later, but he wouldn't need to see this.

That's probably the thing of it though, isn't it? She knew she was going to die hours ago. But occasionally he'd say something to make her smile, or be worried, and it hadn't felt so bad, then. Her other deaths were terrifying, painful and miserable. They were so awful and so painful, and she always took people down with her.

Why couldn't she have figured out that she didn't want to die alone sooner?

And the thing of it was, if it had been earlier in the Arena, she might actually be able to find Feferi. But she's tried too many times to reach anything outside the Arena since she got here. Her head was pounding even before that monster stabbed her, and now on top of it she's dizzy and a little disoriented. Maybe if she knew Feferi she could manage it anyway, but she doesn't. It would need to be done the long and hard way, and that was exhausting even when she had all of her energy.

She shifts a little, straightens, a grimace settling into her features, but it lets her lift her head a little more, look at him more easily. It also makes it seem like the moisture gathering in her eyes was a result of pain, and not being close to tears. She actually manages a smile, but it's strained around the edges.

"I'm sorry. It's too much for me right now. I can't find her like this."

She gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'm grateful for everything you've done for me, but you need to leave."