It kills Nill that she can't get up and go find her. That she can't actually hold her hand and be there, instead of just some voice in Beth's head that later she might not even think was real. But if she were to get up and try to find her, Beth might die while she was trying to find her. This was better.

Even so, Nill is in her head now. She can do a lot, and though most of those things she would never, ever do, especially not to Beth, there was one tiny thing she might be able to do.

If Beth opens her eyes to actually look she won't see anyone there, but it should feel like someone's holding her hand.

"I know," Nill tells her, and she tries to make it sound reassuring, to sound like anything except what she actually feels right now. "It's okay. We'll see each other again. I might just get there a little late."