Hawkeye made himself look at Kili straight, thinking he had earned that much respect from him. His shoulders stooped farther still, and it wasn't an easy explanation to give because he hardly knew it himself, because he knew he was a flighty bastard but not to this degree, really. For all that Hawkeye's kicking himself, he managed a confident little "Yeah." With a loose and lopsided grin and all. And then of course it falls, and he's at a loss for words.
A heavy hand drops on Kili's shoulder, if he'll have it. And Hawkeye looks more like he figured his cousin Billy must have, all that nonsensical swagger of the guy just radiating. Like he was explaining there were no monsters in the closet and here's why. Like he was explaining the simplest little thing in the world. Over every word was a coat of sympathy, though. Hawkeye simply couldn't not. "Look, buddy, we have a long time between now and the end of this. There are a lot of people here. A lot of things can happen, and a lot of things might not," he says, and feels like a quack. So he lets his hand slip from Kili, and he just rocks back on his heels. Some pillar of fortitude he was. Hah. Hawkeye hated staying somber, hated the truth as much as anyone else around. He sucks in a breath and tries not to feel like he's just crushed some man's fighting spirit.
"My job here is to not hurt anyone at all. I don't- I won't, alright? I'm here to help and that- and that's all." And Jesus Christ, that was a roundabout way of saying a death wish, but it worked. But he was convinced, forgive the stops and stutters. "I'm going back to the starting place and scout for casualties, and I'll be back in a minute if I don't find any. I only got away the first time because this- and anyway, the Arena's a place where you'll want to save your strength just to survive it. I'm sorry. It's a very serious thing." And Hawkeye stops swaying and ponders his words for a second, and decides that honesty is best. Or something. So he tacks on with a shrug, "I can't have you slowing me down, down there."
A jackass, really. And he didn't mean it, but he did.
The wave of self-awareness was nearly too much. Another sigh, another not-quite stop in the flow, and another bout of failed single-mindedness, and Hawkeye has to wet his lips to go on. He eases a step back. His stomach's hurting, and to his merit he looks woefully grounded. "There's a little girl around here. If you find her, could you tell her something for me? And tell me what she said when we meet next. I have this bad habit of running into people I already know."
oh man, np when I'm the same way!
Hawkeye made himself look at Kili straight, thinking he had earned that much respect from him. His shoulders stooped farther still, and it wasn't an easy explanation to give because he hardly knew it himself, because he knew he was a flighty bastard but not to this degree, really. For all that Hawkeye's kicking himself, he managed a confident little "Yeah." With a loose and lopsided grin and all. And then of course it falls, and he's at a loss for words.
A heavy hand drops on Kili's shoulder, if he'll have it. And Hawkeye looks more like he figured his cousin Billy must have, all that nonsensical swagger of the guy just radiating. Like he was explaining there were no monsters in the closet and here's why. Like he was explaining the simplest little thing in the world. Over every word was a coat of sympathy, though. Hawkeye simply couldn't not. "Look, buddy, we have a long time between now and the end of this. There are a lot of people here. A lot of things can happen, and a lot of things might not," he says, and feels like a quack. So he lets his hand slip from Kili, and he just rocks back on his heels. Some pillar of fortitude he was. Hah. Hawkeye hated staying somber, hated the truth as much as anyone else around. He sucks in a breath and tries not to feel like he's just crushed some man's fighting spirit.
"My job here is to not hurt anyone at all. I don't- I won't, alright? I'm here to help and that- and that's all." And Jesus Christ, that was a roundabout way of saying a death wish, but it worked. But he was convinced, forgive the stops and stutters. "I'm going back to the starting place and scout for casualties, and I'll be back in a minute if I don't find any. I only got away the first time because this- and anyway, the Arena's a place where you'll want to save your strength just to survive it. I'm sorry. It's a very serious thing." And Hawkeye stops swaying and ponders his words for a second, and decides that honesty is best. Or something. So he tacks on with a shrug, "I can't have you slowing me down, down there."
A jackass, really. And he didn't mean it, but he did.
The wave of self-awareness was nearly too much. Another sigh, another not-quite stop in the flow, and another bout of failed single-mindedness, and Hawkeye has to wet his lips to go on. He eases a step back. His stomach's hurting, and to his merit he looks woefully grounded. "There's a little girl around here. If you find her, could you tell her something for me? And tell me what she said when we meet next. I have this bad habit of running into people I already know."